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Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts

Thursday

When Did Egypt Become the 51st State? Or Did ALL Americans Get Jobs?

When did Egypt become the 51st state?
Seems I heard that President Obama just signed a BILLION dollar Aid package to create jobs.Create Jobs in  EGYPT. hmmm Did I over sleep? Did we get jobs here in the United States? Just Checking!

Pssst Mr.President, look out your window... just sayin.
There are 13.7 Million of us, Americans,  UMEMPLOYED! We will Gladly divide the BILLION, 70,000 each should get us started, at least get us a house and food, maybe even jump start the housing market.

What kind of jobs can you create in an oil rich nation in the middle of the desert?
Perhaps they go into drugs! Could they hide them in the Camel humps?
Seems the only war the United States doesn't win is, well, The War on Drugs.

Dear Mr. President, Giving away a Billion and TAKING American Jobs?
Worse yet, Obama in his new Presidential campaign is actually TAKING jobs... He is Taking Jobs from Stand Up Comedians, he's making his own jokes about himself.... I guess we could all run for office. Seems the winner is the one that makes the most jokes, or is the biggest joke? Either way, I have a shot at a win with  that one, I got Jokes or will be one?  hmmm


At the Very Least President Obama, Do the up and coming Stand Up Comedians, out of work Americans a favor? Stop telling our jokes and at one of your fancy White House Events or Dinners, have us come entertain you. We get to eat, we have a job, you get to laugh, no harm no foul and we will forgive the little T-shirt Incident and the Joke telling! Deal?
I don't come up to the White House and throw around policy... so let the pros tell the jokes! ha!


I am the Hungry Comic Feed a Comic 
and Save a Life.... Oops, I mean Laugh!

Saturday

Rebel Flags, Dolphins and Home Decorating? Not So Much!


Visit Vault.com!



Wow, Red, Really? Dolphins and a Rebel Flag 
Rebel Flags, Dolphins and Home Decorating? Not So Much!
Who Is their decorator? I am NO Domestic Goddess BUT REALLY? Hilarious.
I nearly crashed trying to find a place to U- Turn!
funny shirts
HILARIOUS Stuff!
Much Love,
Tammy



HungryComic.com Feed a Comic and Save a Life.... Oops, I mean Laugh!


HungryComic.com Feed a Comic and Save a Life.... Oops, I mean Laugh!

Friday

Part 2If You Fit, They Would Acquit! Wal-Mart Panty Man!

Over 10,000 Costumes - Why Shop Anywhere Else?

Comment at the end of this story about the Wal-Mart "Mr.March" with Your Funny one liner!

If Your Fit, They Will Acquit!

I think we can all agree ....

If The Guy Had Been Hotter, 
No One at Wal-Mart Would Have Complained.
Better Yet, If He Had Been A Hot Chick, 
Well I think The Story Might Have Ended Differently!

First is of course my jokes and two cents opinion, the real Story and headline is below, indented!
 

Buy.com
Ironic one can go to a shopping center and see half naked men and women on posters and calenders. Or better yet, ON THE TAGS of SAID underwear modeled! Ha!

I honestly Think sometimes I should have been an attorney. What a great defense, Nearly as good as the one I dreamed up for Michael Vick ( a little too late, in my defense no one hired me for consultation, ha)

Here is the Story! HILARIOUS, in a Sick kind of way =)

The ACTUAL story is Highlighted, so you do not get is confused with my Musings or ass some say (smart A$$ remarks)

If he were fit, I bet they would Acquit!!

That is NOT the kind of Glove you can try on.


Didn't you find it at all peculiar that the ""  No Glove, No Love", you were trying on had FIVE opening? 

No the Stitching on the fingers, is NOT ribbed for her pleasure!


It says Lambskin Rodney NOT Sheepskin. There is NOTHING natural about a 5 finger special!

Oh Please tell me you are not going to put those back on the shelves! I thought the packages were taped because of a shipping incident.

NO You cannot RESTOCK the gloves either!

How long has that cheese been with the underwear?

No that is not mayonnaise and I do not want to visit the McDonald's in the building!

Below Is The Original Story! 
That created the Party in my head. One liners, cheese and Panty Jokes!

Man's pics of panty poses shared with Wal-Mart shoppers
Ha Did you REALLY think I could NOT find and Anti Panti Reference?
FREMONT, OHIO -- Police in Fremont say they've caught the man believed to have been posing in panties and sharing the images with Wal-Mart shoppers.






Rodney Kunkle, 44, of Toledo, was arrested by Fremont Police on Thursday on two counts of Pandering Obscenity, a fifth degree felony.
Authorities say that recent customers of the Fremont Wal-Mart have returned to their cars to find photographs of Kunkel wearing female undergarments tucked into the windshields of their vehicles. Kunkel is believed to have posed for the pictures, then put the photographs on the windshields of cars parked in Wal-Mart's lot.  He also put the photographs on shelves of the store's cosmetic section, according to police.
Kunkel has admitted to authorities that he placed the nude photographs of himself wearing only female undergarments in and around the store.
13 photographs of Kunkel in women's underwear have been confiscated.
Kunkel is scheduled to be arraigned on the charges in Fremont Municipal Court.































Much Love, Tammy


HungryComic.com Feed a Comic and Save a Life.... Oops, I mean Laugh!
Is it Just me or does this remind you of Rodney?
Want a Set Click the link and you too can well...... uh!
FULL GRILL TEETH


Get $20 off your order of $50 or more plus get FREE standard shipping at SexualWellBeing.com! Promo Code: TWENTYSWB (one time use per customer) - 468x60

Wednesday

Oh look the baby changer at the BAR is out of order. Now how is one suppose to bring their baby to a bar?? Just going to be nasty smells joining the party Wt hey hey www.Worstofanything.com

Oh look the baby changer at the BAR is out of order. Now how is one suppose to bring their baby to a bar?? Just going to be nasty smells joining the party  Wt hey hey www.Worstofanything.com

He Said, Then I said #NationalWhippedCream day @DanaJGould

 He Said She Said


I am sorry I don't have a picture to depict this one, use your imagination... I am having a fun time on Twitter Today.


Wait before you start pointing fingers, Is This In Reference to NYE or #NationalWhippedCream day? RT @DanaJGould: There is a slim difference between putting on a condom and fucking a balloon.





HungryComic.com Feed a Comic and Save a Life.... Oops, I mean Laugh!
WOA on Myspace 

Tammy Collins, Paris Hilton of the Trailer Park
and the Social Lady Bug

I Will Spend time in the Kitchen

He Said She, No I Said....
READ After The Picture =)

You sure this is for food? Heh heh..

He Said, She No I Said!!

Twitter Talk
David Spade
You sure this is for food? Heh heh..


@DavidSpade Why Women Cook........  I will now learn, and spend way more time in housewares.....=)

HungryComic.com Feed a Comic and Save a Life.... Oops, I mean Laugh!

He Said, Then I said

He Said She Said ...

A Friend Tweeted "I have had a few bad Tacos in My Day"

I said, " Yes but Yes Although you cannot beat the value for us gals of the Home Depot Wall of Men =)


HungryComic.com Feed a Comic and Save a Life.... Oops, I mean Laugh!

Thanks, I feel Better? No Not So Much Falling Birds and Dead Fish

A Feeble attempt at calming Mass Hysteria....



No Worries about the Falling Birds ..... they simple all crashed .. 
Really? Into What? That Giant plate glass window in the sky?


But to make matters worse, Next comes the Dead Fish... Oh Now the Dead Fish , well we think that may be bad, but no need to worry about the birds!!


Well Now I am worried, a mass suicide of birds and fish. Goodbye Cruel World


Didn't that happen in the bible? Oh no that was lots of fish


HungryComic.com Feed a Comic and Save a Life.... Oops, I mean Laugh!

Thursday

Single? Lonely? How to get a Man or Woman to Send I Love You and Sweet Texts All Day!


Single? Lonely? Want someone to send you sweet texts all day long so you can strategically leave the phone in viewing distance of the beast in your office that is always talkin bout his/her game? Dates? or the mushy mushy lovey dovey couple talk?

Well here you go, never fails, and leave it once again to the face book gods to yes take away the businesses self esteem (read the life vs. love rant) but give away self esteem for everyone else to "Share the Love (or like)"

Trick is to find that couple, we all have them, those dear friends that are so in love (I may have just .... oh never mind, must be something I ate. KIDDING KIDDING, if she reads this, I am kidding, I totally and completely adore the way he talks to you, I would have it no other way. You my sweet friend deserve NOTHING but the VERY BEST!). Ok and back to the instructions:

1) Find early morning couple that as they are sitting next to each other drinking their coffee in the morning wearing matching robes (I am imagining matching robes, not not like that you sicko) . This couple, completely made up in my head named coincidentally Robin and Jeff, strictly a coincidence, I promise, I mean come on with all of the crazy being stored in my brain how can I possibly also store unique names. I mean really, I might lose something important if I said Ginger and Joe.... see there ? two new names and I lost my train of thought. Is that how it is spelled? Train of thought? like Choo Choo Train of thought? I have evidently been derailed by Ginger... Back on the tracks gotta get this train a rollin, so we can all share the love train love train, see how I worked that song in there? Stuck in your head now huh? People all over the world now on a love train, love train. Ok back to the "How to get I love yous sent to your text inbox all day long. (even if you haven't had a date since Sadie Hawkins, in 3rd grade..... 20 year ago... )

I completely, as always wandered off topic.... ok back on track As this amazing couple  sips their coffee and share the sugar they sweetly leave each other a sweet, good morning, I love you bunches, had a great weekend... love love love love love love love.. kiss kiss kiss kiss. ..they  are truly and completely  adorable as they leave each other face book messages.

AND when they do ..... Here is your chance. Remember the like button I thought Facebook was pimping itself out with? Well it may be there lure to get strangers to follow them home but it is your opportunity to be endlessly showed with I love you ALL day! Because, they really are in love and adorable and all the things I, I mean you despise (AGAIN KIDDING) and they will do it throughout the day. So if you hit the LIKE button, every time the send a sweet message it looks like it comes straight to you, I mean they don't need to name each other every time it is on their wall you are just in great social networking tradition, prying needlessly into the lives of others trying to get at least a thrill since as hard as you try you cannot talk you boss into the monthly company Sadie Hawkins Dance, oh but you hang in there, you will either get your dance or as other kitty explains, there is always another stray kitty that will wander into your life looking for some food, unless of course you are a complete DOG! Bah ha ha ha, I simply could not resist, I am absolutely amazed and astonish at the wit that comes out of the conversations in my head, almost as brilliant as my fashion choices... ahhh.... oh there I go again.

The point is hit the like button, the sweet texts come to you and NO one has a clue! Honestly who would be the wiser? I don't think this blog post is going to go viral  and in the last post (like vs love) I figured out that only half of my so call fans liked me, so the secret is safe! Unless someone else has figured this out.... surely not, I am not surpassed in my GENUS (yes intentionally spelled incorrectly because of a serious face book description I read once, apparently in all there brilliance they are afforded with the one thing they could not afford was a spell check. I on the other hand, do not claim to be a genus, genius or a writer or a speller. If you want some one with good grammar you are in the VERY wrong place!

So short version-
1) Watch for in love couple to do the start of the day text.
2) Like it! I don't mean you really have to like it, I know it is killing you, hit the LIKE button idiot, I mean umm person who needs self esteem boost because none ever really sees you for the truly awesome blossom that you are (nit the onion) but that works either way huh? I am going to say that often. No one will have a clue whether I am describing them as a beautiful flower or a slightly spicy vegetable that will probably make them miserable shortly after the pleasure of digesting......
3) Get amazing I love yous all day long and never have to shave your legs!! (I don't know what the guy version of that would be, some one wants to clue me in, I am game)

So go to sleep tonight knowing you will be loved all day tomorrow!
HA!


fb in the morning and they said something sweet and I hit like because it made my heart smile. A little later on in the day I looked down at my phone and it was a sweet I love you message from Jeff! I thought who the heck is Jeff and why is he sending and before I got the me out to myself yes one of my usual one sided conversations I realize which Jeff it was and knew exactly what had happened and literally was laughing to the point of tears, with coupled with the fact that I was talking to myself removed all doubt to the rest of the shoppers of my mental stability and I was miraculously at the front of the check out line at grocery rush hour with two carts full of single scan items and all the random coupons I could grab that truly do not go to anything in my card yet make me particularly entertained as the poor girl tries to "let me down" easy as she has to tell me I can't us that because I didn't have the right product. One of these days I am going to have to work my ways into little sad tears as I nod and go ok, I am so sorry ma'am I hoped I could. Ok I don't do that never even thought of it until just now, but if you want to run the video camera, I certainly would love to dive it a shot!

Have a beautiful day! Much Love!



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