Ahhh Bill You are the man for me,
you never tire of letting me know
you are thinking of me!
Yes every once in a while you meet that special someone. The person that cannot get you off of their mind. ! They call you first thing in the morning and if they cannot reach you they do not give up! If you have too much going on and you neglect them, they do not give up. They simply try harder.....
Sending you letters, oh not an e-mail or a text but real letters with stamps. Sometimes I really know how much he wants to talk to me because not only does he have the postal worker hand deliver it to me, but he also gets my signature.
It would seems almost stalker-ish , but truly he never did really anything to me, everything was going well in our lives and then in an instant it all changed.
I just could not manage him anymore. Year after year , even when he got low, with my help I would bring him to his highest high .....he wasn't just at his Max when we spent the day together he was over his limit and I thought at those times I could NEVER be happier, it was my therapy when we spent the day alone or it was even more joyful with my daughter , just mindless joy. Read More
I thought it would never change only get better. I was wrong, things changed without warning and not only was he at his limit but I just couldn't deal with him anymore.
Those carefree go beyond the limits days turned into him wanting more and more from me. It seems that after I lost my job instead of being understanding and knowing how much I had tried, he just pressured me, until I simply had to turn my back on him and give up altogether. But then he wouldn't go away, his tune had changed. He swore he only wanted the minimum but how can you trust anything, when out of the blue you just couldn't do it............. well here goes.....
He finally gave up and as swiftly as he came into my life..... poof he was gone.
Just when I thought it was quiet my phone and mailbox became more full than ever, even had a few attorneys trying to get my attention. I guess word travels fast when you have gone from Ms. Responsible to living on the edge and being a bad girl.
No matter how many folks write or blow up your phone there is always one that stands out . He was relentless in his pursuits......Oh yes I knew he wanted me.
He kept calling and sending letters and honestly giving me more attention and offering me service more than ever in the past..... leave me little messages saying he would be available 24/7.
So after careful consideration, I have decided to ask Bill Collections to marry me, he pays me so much attention, he always lets me know he is thinking of me. Again the calls early in the morning and into the wee hours of the night. He calls several times a day, even writes me letters, lots of notes . The REALLY important ones, He ever stamps REALLY IMPORTANT on them. Makes sure the postal worker hand delivers them. He takes his time.......
He is always ready for me 24/7, want to hear the messages? I would not make this up. I know he is not desperate he takes to hundreds of folks daily. I can hear it when I answer, sometimes I get so frustrated I just hang up. Oh but Bill calls right back and I know that no matter how many people he talks to he is NOT giving up on me.
And when I am in the mood for Bill ....... all I have to do is simply press 5 for service and then he takes his sweet time to come, we all know he takes his time to come, I think he just likes to let my mind wander off in the moment. Sometimes I nearly forget why I am there and I am relaxed...... oh but then he always snaps me back into a tizzy and comes! If i want a truly exotic evening, he is international and I can simply press 2 for Spanish and then he gives me even more options, most I cannot do, I just am not capable, but I know he will take care of me , he promises to always work with me, one thing I am sure of..... he will NEVER ever leave me alone.......because as soon as we are done and my emotions are running so high and my face and body are flushed he is ready to go at it agian and calls right back he wanting even more, no nap time needed! Oh this is a MAN truly after me.
Just change my name from Collins to Collections......
I have to say, I laugh every time the phone rings and it sounds just like a relationship. The phone rings, it is always Bill Collections or they want the mortgage payment. Funny how you call before it gets bad and out of control but they tell you to wait. They are not ready to talk to you. The y all know we are in a recession. Unemployment is at it's highest and one could easily go from being on top of the world to the very bottom again.
Funny how they have evidently mimicked our American financial system to our already troubled relationships and give us an answer to ignore it. No programs in place, no financial counseling or wanting to work through it before it gets so bad and so much damage is done that you know, you feel as if you can never get back on top. Honestly one cannot get back on top.
Because just like any good relationship the dings will show up when you least expect it, and the damage will be exposed for all to see!
Hardy Har Har!!
Summary: I have decided to ask Bill Collections to marry me, he pays me so much attention, always lets me know he is thinking of me, calls several times a day,writes me letters, even makes sure the postal worker hand delivers them. When I am in the mood I simply press 5 for service and we all know he takes his time to come, and if i want a truly exotic evening I just press 2 for Spanish.......and as soon as we are done, he calls right back wanting more, no nap time needed!
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